CONSEJOS, ("advice" in Spanish), offers sensible and sensitive responses to readers' questions. The creators have distinct personalities and viewpoints, and an easy conversational style that makes CONSEJOS accessible and entertaining, while also offering sound judgment and shrewd insights.

Available in both English and Spanish, CONSEJOS appeals to one of the fastest-growing audiences in the United States. CONSEJOS draws young adult readers, giving "Generation Y" an advice column to call their own. *Also Available in English

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Sample Column

UNGRATEFUL CHILDREN

QUESTION: We have a son and daughter-in-law in their early 20s who never give a gift or remember to send a card for Christmas or a birthday. We have to ask if they have received the gifts we have sent, and it seems they are not very grateful. My son was raised to say thank you. We always get hurt at the holidays about this. They live in another state and are busy. Do you think I expect too much?

LILY: Culpa mía!! My mother-in-law can so relate!

After consulting with her, she suggests you enclose self-stamped notes with your gifts.

I don't think you expect too much. We hide behind our email and busy schedules and forget how to be polite. Having said that, I am off to buy a set of thank-you notes and stamps... just as soon as I catch up on my cooking and cleaning and...

CATHERINE: Love languages collide again.

The term -- coined by Christian psychologist Gary Chapman -- refers to how people give and receive love differently via five different communication styles, or "languages": Words of affirmation, physical affection, gifts, quality time and acts of service.

It sounds as if you value gifts and words of affirmation, which is completely valid. You send gifts to show your son and daughter-in-law that you love them, but you feel unloved when you do not receive words of affirmation that your gift was special to them.

So what can you do?

You say that you raised your son to say "thank you." Regardless of how people are raised, their primary love language may not directly reflect the values instilled by their upbringing.

Try to identify what makes your son feel loved and meet him there.

What does he do that shows love in his own way?

Also, let him know what he can do to make you feel loved. Honest communication is the foundation for effectively loving people.

DANNY: Alrighty then. Now that you have read what you may have wanted to hear, let me give you the male perspective on this sensitive situation.

You are expecting too much, especially if your giving comes with an "in return" clause.

Your son and his wife are young. Generation Y has lost a lot of the etiquette and basic rules of respect over this and many other social behaviors.

Continue to give with love and unconditionally if it makes you feel good.

Trust that the son you brought up to say "thank you"will come around as he gets older and wiser.

Perhaps toning down the gift giving and just sending a card for those special occasions will lessen your expectations. (Think of the money and heartache you'll save.)

I can almost hear the phone ringing on that next special occasion when all your son or daughter-in-law receive is a card telling them how much you love them and wishing them well.

If they ask where their gifts are, then you might have to give one more lesson in graciousness.

COPYRIGHT 2005 THE DALLAS MORNING NEWS