She's been called the "Abbie Hoffman of the Right"
for her witty, no-holds-barred commentaries on the Washington
Scene. Now political analyst and attorney Ann Coulter
brings her bold, unapologetically conservative perspective
directly to the masses.
BURN DOWN MY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE
did everything I could, and it's not my fault. As a legal
resident of the noble Fourth District of Connecticut --
once represented by glamorous, brilliant, smart aleck
Claire Booth Luce, and currently represented by a phony,
ponderous, hand-wringing pantywaist -- I tried to take
out the pantywaist.
those of you who don't have Irish Alzheimer's (we forget
everything but our grudges), Rep. Chris Shays was one
of only five Republicans to vote against the impeachment
of a lying, felonious, contemptible president; one of
only two Republicans to go on a whirlwind grandstanding
campaign against the impeachment of the lying, felonious,
contemptible president; and the only Republican called
on by Rep. John Conyers on the day of the vote to argue
against impeachment of a lying, felonious, contemptible
didn't run in the primary against Shays because, as a
writer, I'd have to give up my livelihood to do so. If
I were a dentist, I could continue to remove molars while
campaigning against Shays; as a writer, I'd have to abandon
my career the moment I announce. I'll give up a month
or two for a grudge match, but not six, seven or eight.
an excellent Connecticut Republican, Jim Campbell, did
step up to the plate to oppose the pantywaist, offering
Nutmeggers the enticing prospect not only of being a Republican,
but also of representing the district rather than The
New York Times.
one had ever heard of Campbell. He emerged from nowhere,
and the principleless Connecticut Republican Party establishment
was dead-set against him. (If Joseph Stalin called himself
a Republican and ran for office in Connecticut, he'd have
the full backing of the state party apparatchiks.) Still,
Campbell took about 40 percent of the vote from Shays.
I wasn't willing to sacrifice my profession (and life)
for the absolute minimum six months it would have required
to run in a primary, I was willing to forsake my profession
(and life) for about six weeks simply to achieve the greater
glory of causing Shays to lose. My idea was that I'd run
a total sham, media-intensive, third-party Jesse Ventura
campaign for one month before the election, and hope for
enough votes to cause the (official) Democrat to win.
just needed to find a third party that would have me.
Since I hate the government, and the Libertarians hate
the government, I figured -- that's my party. Except the
thing is, the Libertarians' opposition to government is
narrowly focused on only one small aspect of government:
the drug laws.
several weeks of negotiations with the Connecticut Libertarian
Party over its pro-drug legalization stance, my position
on drugs was to refuse even to discuss drug legalization
until I don't have to pay for the food, housing, transportation
and medical care of people who want to stay home all day
shooting up heroin.
not as if we live in the perfect Libertarian state of
nature, with the tiny exception of those pesky drug laws.
We live in a Nanny State that takes care of us from cradle
to grave and steals half our income. I kept suggesting
to them that we might want to keep our eye on the ball
here. (The Libertarians' other big issue is privatizing
theory, our areas of agreement should have included, among
other things: eliminating the Department of Health and
Human Services, eliminating the Department of Education,
eliminating the Department of Commerce, eliminating the
National Endowment of the Arts, eliminating the National
Endowment for the Humanities, eliminating the Department
of Agriculture, eliminating the Department of Housing
and Urban Development, eliminating the Department of Transportation,
eliminating the progressive income tax and instituting
a flat tax.
sole area of disagreement was whether to abolish the drug
laws before or after completing the above tasks.
wasn't enough. I was deemed not a "true Libertarian"
because my position was to defer the drug legalization
issue until we had made a little more headway in dismantling
the Nanny State.
a joke about a Frenchman, an Englishman and a Russian
who are told they have only one day until the end of the
world. The Frenchman says he will spend his last day with
a bottle of Bordeaux and a beautiful woman. The Englishman
says he will take his favorite sheepdog for a walk across
the moors. The Russian says he will burn down his neighbor's
house. I'm with the Russian.
I have moved from being completely uninterested in drug
legalization to being virulently, passionately opposed
to it. So I'm initiating a periodic series of articles
on the stupidity of drug legalization -- it's my newest
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